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Monday, 2 January 2012

How to handle an office romance ?

How to handle an office Romance ?

Posted by MydeaMedia


The researchers think that their work could have implications for boosting the number of women in the areas in which they are under-represented, such as science, technology and engineering.
Their experiment involved getting 150 men and women - all undergraduate students - to take part in an exercise which they were told was about team work. They had 10 minutes to tackle 12 maths problems.
Some of them were looked up and down by an interviewer of the opposite sex as they entered the room - with intermittent glances also being made at the ladies' boobs.
The "objectified" people also had written feedback that they "looked good" before they took the test.
Women who were leered at got less than five questions right on average, while those who were not scored an average of six.
Lead researcher Dr Sarah Gervais said: "It creates this vicious cycle for women in which they’re under-performing in maths or at work, but they’re continuing to want to interact with the person who’s making them under-perform in the first place."

Flirting with the office eye candy certainly beats staring at spreadsheets, but before you take things from the boardroom to the bedroom, ask yourself these questions

1. Is it worth risking your job?

Some companies have strict policies that forbid inter-office relations so if you sense a potential office romance in the air, read the small print in your contract before your heart gets carried away. If you really don’t want to lose your job, don’t assume you won’t get caught. Office walls have eyes and ears. If you really don’t want to lose each other, it’s time for one of you to dig out your CV!

2. Do you really fancy him?

Even a flirtatious glance from the bloke who’s come to fix the vending machine can seem exciting when you spend the biggest part of the day glued to your computer or in boring boardroom presentations. As a result, it’s easy to find yourself lusting after the nearest available male - whether it’s the MD or the mail boy. Before you make any moves, ask yourself if you’d fancy him if you’d met him outside the office.
 

3. What's his relationship status?

Given point one, it’s not surprising that the majority of extra-marital affairs start out in the workplace. Particularly if you’re putting in the overtime when you can find yourself spending more time with your colleagues than your other half. But remember: Office romances are messy. Extra-marital affairs are messy. Extra-marital office affairs can seriously damage your emotional health.

 

4. Is it a fling or the real thing?

You wish the weekends away, spring out of bed on Monday mornings, spend more money on office attire than going-out clothes, get butterflies when he catches your eye, “go to the loo” (via his desk) every five minutes… all the signs say it’s love. But be aware lust can mimic the feelings we associate with love. So take time to get to know each other – and be sure he feels the same - before you utter those three little words.

5. Who's on top?

Second only to the extra-marital office affair in the dangerous liaisons league, is the boss-subordinate fling. Whether you’re his PA or his line manager, a tipped power balance inside the office could make it difficult to maintain an equal relationship outside of the office. Plus, it could be difficult to approach tricky work issues in the boardroom with the person who shares your bedroom.

6. What's his love-life CV?

If he’s fit, he’s funny and he’s flirting like mad – with you, who wouldn’t be flattered? But just because he gives you compliments at the water cooler and makes a detour by your desk every time he goes to the photocopier, doesn’t necessarily make you The One. Before you get carried away, do a little research around the office to find out if you’re one in a long line of flirtations. In other words, steer clear of the office lothario.

7. Are you getting the space you need?

Embarking on a relationship with someone who works in your office is a bit like getting together with one of your flatmates – you have no chance of taking things slowly. Half the excitement of the honeymoon period is in the anticipation between each date – but when you work together it’s harder to spend time apart. If you like your space, avoid spending every lunch break together and going home together every night and incorporate at least a couple of nights on your own and some with the girls.

8. Could your inbox be used against you?

A little bit of saucy email banter certainly beats staring at spread sheets all day but beware you are only ever one careless click away from accidentally sending your innermost thoughts to the wrong person, or worse, the entire company! Plus, you never know when the boss or the office gossip could appear behind you to ask you a question and get a good eyeful of what’s on your screen – and in your mucky mind.

9. Can you handle the gossip?

Office grape vines thrive on work romances, particularly if there’s nothing much else going on. For those who haven’t got the excitement of an office romance to spice up their working day, they will often seek out the next best thing – someone else’s office romance. And who can blame them? It’s like watching a real life soap opera play out at your desk. As a result, don’t tell anyone – unless it’s a completely trusted friend - anything you wouldn’t want the entire office to know.

10. Could you survive a break-up?

It was exciting when it started, fun while it lasted, but now that it’s ended you can’t stand the sight of each other. The problem with inter-office break-ups is that you don’ get the natural ‘cold turkey’ period to lick your wounds. As a result, no matter how things ended you both need to be grown-ups and agree to be civil and promise not to discuss the matter with your colleagues.

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